Playing with your child is one of the most wonderful things about being a parent. It's also a vital part of the way babies and children grow and learn.

The time you spend just having fun together:

• provides a variety of learning opportunities

• helps children learn to trust and depend on their parents

• makes your child feel loved and secure, which helps her to develop

• helps children integrate ideas as they learn to make sense of the world

• helps you get to know each other and brings you closer.

The research on play

Research tells us that a child's environment and experiences – especially during the first three years – strongly influences her development.

• Play is one of the best ways for your child to learn, whether it's a planned activity you set up for your child or 'freeflow' play where there's no plan and your child plays at her own pace. Experts say a balance of organized and freeflow play is best.
  

• Play tells you a lot about your child's personality and temperament.

• Children get the most out of play if they have the chance to explore a range of activities that they are naturally drawn to.

• Play is important for your child's developing self-esteem and social skills.

• Playing with others increases your child's social competence – this is one of the advantages of playgroups and places such as child care and preschool.

• Play helps children to develop an understanding of themselves and their own identity. Examples of this in action include:

1. imitating facial expressions or movements at an early age
2. becoming aware that it's herself she sees in the mirror (between six and nine months)
3. enjoying and being fascinated by her body, which is all part of natural curiosity. 

How play develops with your child

Newborns and babies

Your baby thinks of you as her most important play buddy. From birth, the carer that spends the most time with your child is the person that she looks to and wants to play with most. She'll want to play with you and to experience new things with you. And she'll look to you for guidance on what's OK and safe to try out – often with just a quick glance at you to gauge your facial expression.

Toddlers

As your toddler's focus of the world expands, she'll play more with other children. Your toddler is dipping a toe into the world of friends, as she starts to understand that other children are independent too. Between now and preschool age, your child is likely to want to spend more time playing with other children. This doesn't mean she won't still want to play with you – she'll want to play with you through much of her childhood.

Play at this age is about starting to explore relationships with others. From about 14 months of age, you might notice that your toddler plays side-by-side with other children, but not always with them. This is called parallel play, and it's completely normal. By about the age of three your toddler will start to want to play with – rather than beside – other children. This is all simply part of exploring the world and developing self-esteem and confidence along the way. Your toddler might also let you know that she really likes playing with a particular friend or two. She may not understand the nuances of relationships, or remember how to share, but she's on her way to finding out how these things work.

Preschoolers

Your preschooler wants to play with other children. By the time your child is four or five years of age, she'll want to play with friends as much as she wants to play with you. Play unlocks the world of social relations for your child – a journey that lasts until adulthood! Your child is learning about getting along with peers. Play is how this happens. Some very important personal development happens at the same time: your child is getting to know herself. She's developing her 'concept of self', and where she fits in – as a result of play and playing with other children.

Research suggests that the building blocks for a lifetime of self-esteem are set in place during the terrifically important period of social and personal growth that takes place in the preschool years.

School-age children

For school-age children, peer relationships are it. You're still an important play buddy, but by now your child certainly looks to play with other children as much as she does with you. This shift will continue as she matures. You'll still be the person she turns to for support and help when she needs it, but relationships with other children the same age are the main focus. You child really wants to fit in, and to understand how she fits in with the wider world, and play is again the catalyst for exploring these areas.

All you need to get started is you and your child, whether your child is a newborn or heading to school, or any age in between.